Well the description of the book did not make me think it had the answers I am seeking. Probably those are inside of me. OH well to that. But someone did write a review which made me stop. The reader was quoting from the introduction of the book A Life's Work by Rachel Cusk. The reader actually said that she found the introduction worth the price of the book and that she spent most of her time rereading it rather than reading the whole text.
This is the quote that got my attention:
"Another person has existed in her, and after their birth they live within the jurisdiction of her consciousness. When she is with them she is not herself; when she is without them she is not herself; and so it is as difficult to leave your children as it is to stay with them."
From the introduction to A Life's Work: On Becoming a Mother.