Mattress Aggression

I had to blog about this... last night I went to bed at 8pm. I had a headache and could not stop yawning. I fell asleep fast.

Tick, tock, tick, tock. Four and a half hours later Doc comes to bed. He wakes me as he is coming in the door... and proceeds to turn ON the light. Why? Because he can not see! What? I walk in the dark everywhere. I know every corner of every piece of furniture and how many steps it takes to get from the bed to the door. Its all stored in the brain, isn't it. So after he turns off the bedroom light and walks back into the hallway to turn off that light. He makes the dangerous journey back to the bed. He is slapping the footboard of the bed and then the mattress up to the pillow and then the pillow itself. Does he think its going to move or disappear between the time he slaps it once to the next slap? I am very confused at this point but I just giggle at him. "What?" he says like he is not doing anything any clear minded sight challenged person wouldn't do.

Now mind you I have not moved this whole time. Doc climbs in bed and my leg touches his knee. He accuses me of encroaching on "sacred ground"... i.e. his mattress space. When I do not adjust myself accordingly he accuses me of mattress aggression. I asked him three times if he said "mattress aggression" because what a turn of phrase that is for this little domestic occurence. I about lost it and at the same time knew I was going to have to blog about it.

Well not to much time passes and I have to accuse him of pajama aggression. No need to go into details I am sure BUT he did say that I mislead him because pajamas are two piece and I only was wearing one. So technically it was nightgown agression. *sigh*

Really now, who is being aggressive, I ask you?