7 Random Facts about me

Wow thanks to KellyJean for tagging me! I must be somebody on the web, if only a dead little stuck insect, to be actually "tagged." So here is where I list 7 facts about me, random to be sure cause there is no rhyme of reason.

1. I went to Vanderbilt Divinity School. This is very random cause even my pastor, who is somewhat new, did not know. I guess I hide it well, my divinity, I mean.
2. I grew up going to dog shows. Not the breed type where you see 10 of the same dog and they are judging the standard of the breed, like weight, height, coloring etc. I grew up going to Obedience dog shows where dogs do scent retrieval, 3 minute stays while their owners leave their site. Yup 10 dogs lines up and sitting. Their owners leave the ring and stay gone for 3 - 5 minutes. Or a down on recall where a dog is called by its owner from across the ring and half way to the other side is motioned (no voice) to drop to a laying down position. Or scent retrieval where the dog has to retrieve a metal dumbbell, picking the one dumbbell that has his/her owners scent on it. All pretty amazing stuff.
   
3. I met my husband on a psychiatric ward. I will do no explaining of this just to drive Doc crazy.
4. I was a virgin til I was 35. Wow does that sound ridiculous? But its true.
5. I love anchovies on my pizza. Anchovies are small, salty fish. The are kinda like sardines but way better and smaller. Doc doesn't want my anchovies anywhere near his vanilla, unadventurous pizza. He says that the anchovy flavor gets absorbed by the other pizza. If I the pizza maker is really stingy with the anchovies I can be very nasty. Doc has actually had me order the anchovies on the side, which means they deliver a can of them just so they do not contaminate the rest of the food.
   
6. Since I started taking medication for anxiety, I have less inclination to clean my house. The organizational skills I have always been known for and which took me far in my jobs was a result of my trying to control the stress and anxiety in my life. But now I have none and my life is a mess.
7. I am on a year long journey to find some patience or learn it or foster it.. or something. But its taking way to long.
   

Here is where I tag seven people to do as I just did but I can only come up with five so here they are... including my 2 nieces who I did think of but they are not on the blog link list I was referencing so I overlooked them. Please forgive my "rudeness"!

1. Belinda at Ninja Poodles. I love her writing and read her daily.
2. Elysa at Musings from Graceland. I always love to learn more about her.
3. Cathy from Arkie Mama. I love her perspective and sense of humor.
4. Kyran at Notes to Self. She has a wonderful voice and her writing is beautiful.
5. Karen at Surviving Motherhood. Her honesty and encouragement are priceless.
6. Betsie from Daydreams, Raindrops, Explorations, and Pondering. I don't want to be dirt.
7. Anna at My Life in Randomness. Again, I don't want to be dirt!

So, here are the meme rules:
1) Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.
2) Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.
3) Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
4) Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Now go visit a blog you never have visited before and leave a comment. Come on, 1 new blog. You can do it!

Following Directions

I got to speak with Avery's teacher this morning and we went over some of Avery's work. Much to my surprise (tongue in cheek) Ms. Hambrik says she is working with Avery on following directions. When I look at Avery's work it is completed but not to the specifications ask for. There was a fire truck that was colored mostly green with some red. The directions were to color the fire truck red. Another work sheet asked her to circle all the things that were hot and could hurt you. Instead she colored all the items on the page.

In themselves, these things are not troublesome. But for Avery following directions is hard. She will steamroll over my requests with jabbering of her own until I am flabbergasted. I have to ask her to look me in the eye to really know she is listening. And sometimes it takes threats of losing privileges to get her to follow direction. Maybe she is saying with this behavior, "I am not listening to you until you listen to me." That really could be the case. I will have to take a closer look at that to know the truth of it.

And I know she is a good listener because she will come home from school on the day that the Fire truck visits and tell me off hand that we need to crawl along the floor when there is a fire and go to a door and get out. And that we need to check the door cause it might be hot. She has memorized the Our Father from hearing it once a week at school chapel and now is working on the 23rd Psalm. (An aside... she hears the Psalm as saying "He annoys my head with oil. He makes me fall in the water.") She can repeat back lines and lines of movie dialogue from Toy Story or Barbie's Princess and the Pauper.

Avery also has a habit of bringing up spit to the front of her mouth and then blowing bubbles with it. It is quite a little trick and one that I can not do BUT it is inappropriate. Her Taekwondo instructor and now her teacher have both commented to her about the need to stop. And of course, so have we but it persist. I do not even think she knows she is doing it. And then when you tell her to stop she realizes she is doing it and her hard headedness compels her to continue. She gets some attention this way.

So I don't think its the listening as much as the following of directions. The only person Avery will "follow" is her big brother. Everyone else is questionable. She wants to be in charge. She can be a little dictator or cruise director in our family depending on what type of mood she is in. And though this is an admirable quality and one I never had as a child there has to be a medium in order to get along in life. This is a life long lesson that is better learned earlier than late. So we start with coloring trucks red when it says to color trucks red and hope it translates to the larger world as she grows.

The Power of Patience

Ok, so here is where I am starting with my reading. I know that patience is a practice, a behavior but it is also a spiritual gift or discipline depending on whether you were given it or not. (haha) In order to fully understand and practice patience I must not only live it day to day in the mechanics of life but also in my spirit. I am hoping this book will enrich my spirit and understanding. But I have 362 more days to search and discover. This book will not be the last I read on the topic, I am sure.

M.J Ryan has some other very interesting titles out there including Attitudes of Gratitude and Love, The Giving Heart and Trusting Yourself: How to Stop Feeling Overwhelmed and Live More Happily with Less.

Got Patience?

Not me... I have been struggling with this virtue for a long time. Of course, I did not know I had such a horrible deficit til I had children. They require A LOT of it. Last year I went to my pastor for some advise I was so desperate. Patience is a spiritual virtue... it is listed in one of Paul's letters. He states that we all have spiritual gifts but not all have the same one. I asked him what it meant that I did not know how to practice patience with my children. It was a gift from God and I certainly did not receive it. He answered that we do not all get the same gifts which intellectually helped me understand but still left me floundering on where to get some.

I was talking to my mother in law about this one day in the sand box as we played with the kids. She told me of a friend who would take a year to focus on one aspect of her life that needed improvement. I thought it was such a wonderful idea but never implemented it. So here I am... Patience will be my focus til September 2008. What it is, how to increase mine and concrete ways to practice it.

Ok, so here is the easy part. What it is...

Patience is the ability to endure waiting, delay, or provocation without becoming annoyed or upset, or to persevere calmly when faced with difficulties.

Now I have no problem with waiting and delay... its the provocation without becoming annoyed or upset that is the real crux of the matter. And it is mostly in the face of 3 demanding children that it is tested. And I must admit I fail miserable a lot of the time. So here is my confession... I am a yeller. In the face of stress, persistent noise and disobedient children I yell. I scream. I get mad. I am not proud of it. I am pretty humiliated and ashamed that I can not hold it together. But if I am to grow and change I must admit this to myself and others.

I have dealt with anxiety all my life. Before I married I coped by being overly organized. Everything was in its place and I breathed easy. Marriage was the first challenge. Edward would not conform... haha. He had his ways and I had mine. I would cry in the face of socks on the floor or piled up laundry. Little did I know that it would only get worse with children. But then I had a reason for medication. Anxiety and PPD are not pretty. A few weeks after my second child, a long awaited daughter, was born I felt like I was just not cut out for motherhood. Luckily my OB/GYN recognized my struggles and recommended medication to address it. It did wonders. I felt so much better. It was a low dose but it took the edge off my depression and allowed me to face the everyday stress.

And then along came Hurricane Katrina and Connor followed shortly after. Can you say "stress and anxiety"? I love my in-laws but its trying to live with anyone. We were blessed to have them to turn to when our home was severely damaged by Katrina. And I thank them for their generosity. There were so many who did not have family to turn too. But it was stressful. Connor came early due to Katrina stress and we moved back into half a house. You bet I asked for my anti-depressant to be raised. (haha) I can not imagine who I would be without my Effexor. And yet still I struggle. This feeling well up inside me and overpowers me. And I lose it. It results in missed opportunity for teaching my children. And I know it does not help their security in the world when their mommy blows up. And it scares me... hoe this will mold my relationship with each of them and how we will relate when they are adults. But mostly it scares me that they too will not have the coping skills they need as adult because I am not modeling it for them. So its time to get a handle.

While I am acquiring more patience, I can be putting some practical advise to use that I found on the internet. There are 2 times of the day when I get especially stressed. Getting the kids ready and out the door in the morning and getting dinner ready with kids around who have had a long day of one activity after another. They are tired and hungry and I am tired and want to wind down but I must make dinner. Its at these times when I am desperately trying to make something happen and am faced with three road blocks all at one time, i.e the children.

Since my impatience rears its ugly head with the children mostly, I am going to focus on my parenting skills int he following areas.

1. Organization
2. Boundaries
3. "No"
4. Time Out

1. Organization
One of the "side effects" of my anti-anxiety/antidepressant is that I do not feel the need to micro manage everything anymore in order to feel secure and anxiety free. Now this might sound like a good thing but it has its down sides. Since I no longer feel compelled to organize and clean and make lists... my life is a mess. ^-~
And I do need to get organized in order to lessen the stress and anger in the morning and late afternoon. If all the shoes were in one place... if Cullen's folder were already in his backpack... if clothes were laid out the night before... if breakfast items were placed on the counter the night before... maybe, just maybe my morning would go smoother.

I will attempt to deal with the other 3 practices in subsequent posts.