Tuesday, April 8, 2008

What? Huh? What did you say?

I have never repeated myself more than I have in the last two weeks. My four year old has been driving me crazy. She would ask me a question and then not wait to hear the answer. Or ask it again while I was answering her. I could not figure what was going on. But I was thinking it was behavioral. She and I have been clashing a lot. It has made me very upset to think that this is the status quo of our relationship and she is only four. It felt like the only time she heard me was when i was yelling... which I would do after she repeated herself 3 times and did not hear my response once.

So I set about trying to figure out how to relate to her differently, as well as to understand her better. I ordered a couple books off Amazon about the strong willed child. I spoke with family and friends and the doctor. The pediatrician said this was all normal and that same sex parents and children are bound to clash and just wait til she is 12. (great) I asked him about Avery's ears because she has had a number of ear infections including double ear infections just last week. He told me they were clear.

After some observation we wondered if maybe she wasn't hearing us. It was an on and off thing and depended on the setting. But I could be 4 feet away from her sometimes and call her name repeatedly and she would not respond. So I made an appointment with the audiologist at the ENT office where she and our oldest son had their tubes done a couple years ago. And it seems she has fluid in her ears again or still.

Her pediatrician counted 6-7 ear infections in the last year which is right on the cusp for new tubes. Today we go to see the ENT himself. It looks like tubes are in her future. But the icing is that maybe, just maybe our relationsip will shift dramatically or a smidgen anyway.


Coffee Bean said...

Our son has had several sets of tubes. He got his last set when he was 5 and hasn't had a problem since.

Elysa said...

You are such a good mom, Stephanie.

BTW, thanks for also being a good aunt. My boy said he had a great time with y'all over the weekend.

Karen Deborah said...

Astute assessment mom. Hearing is a big deal. If she has enough fluid it sounds like being underwater; makes a whole lot of sense to me. 4 year olds kinda have a stage unique to them, not babies but not kindergartners, they forget to wipe, forget to flush, pee their pants when they're really busy playing. be patient, read coffee beans blog today about parenting books and spare yourself the grief.