Friday, January 25, 2008

Virtual Life

Oh goodness, my neglect of all things has reached a high. I am playing an on line game called Everquest II and I am obsessed. I really enjoy it but it is NOT my fault.

When Doc and I were first married, I was bereft because he had a few hobbies that he loved. He made time in his day to do them too. At night I was sad because he would choose to paint his military miniatures, or play a computer game. And I realized that I had no hobby. I really thought there was something wrong with me. Doc had passion for so man y things and they were born when he was young. He kept them alive throughout his life and he was as excited about them at present as he was when he started out. And I had nothing. My passion was for our relationship and he was painting miniatures.

So I started looking around for a hobby. Doc wanted me to paint miniatures with him. I did that for a time. It fed my obsessiveness for a time but it was his passion not mine. I had been a knitter but hadn't knitted since moving to the South. Its way to hot to have wool laying all over you. And I hardly ever wore sweaters, never mind coats, down here.

Once we were expecting our first child my hobby became my pregnancy. I had an online community of friends who were all expecting in August. I watched A Baby's Story on TV multiple time a day... lol. And I worried. I worried and worried and worried. That has always been a great hobby of mine. After Cullen was born and life again was somewhat manageable I started scrapbooking.

I loved scrapbooking. I loved the paper and the embellishments. I did everything by hand. I organized all my materials, spent time after Cullen went to bed every night. Doc was soon asking em for some time. haha Then was I was doing a page a night. What fun! Five years later when Katrina hit I lost all my scrapbook and my materials. What a blow. There was so much lost though that really I had to face it with a shrug. All those memories were lost but in light of what we did not lose, our lives, I was resigned. I was 6 month pregnant at the time and seeing the baby bassinet that both of my other children used destroyed is what sent me to tears. But this is another story.

Through of early years Doc was always trying to help me find something fun to do to distract me from the day to day of raising kids and managing a house. I had said no to every proposal he suggested for a hobby. He wanted me to play an online game with him. Oh I was so against it. There would be lots and lots of other people playing as well. I would have to interact with people I did not know. It would require making a character and entering into an unknown world. I would do quests and level up my character. Just not for me. No way!

Doc played the game for a number of weeks before I sat down at the computer and tried it. I did make a character which was way fun. I made her just the way I wanted her, choosing her race, the color of her hair and its style. I also chose her class, a rogue. A melee class. After that I was off and running. I played that game for almost 4 years on and off. However, after a time I did lose interest.

Okay so here we are in 2007. I have found another game. Everquest II. I am lost again in another world. And this world is falling apart. I have laundry that needs doing and showers that need scrubbing. The kitchen is a mess from last evenings meal. I vow to get to it before I go to pick up Avery at school. I would not even be blogging down but the game is down for maintenance. I am torn between wanting to be on line playing and all the responsibilities I have in real life. But the pull to game is overpowering. I play with a group of people I have known online for months now. We played another online game together. So I have friends to spend time with as well.

All that I can not control in this life is overshadowed by the power and accomplishments I experience in this other world. And yet, when the computer is powered down, I am faced with dirty floors, toys strewn all over the floor and toilets that need attention. Hmmm seems a good reason to want to get away.

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